Sunday, May 30, 2010

Where is the love?

After a short but intensive spell at work I have a weeks break during which I'll travel a bit around Germany. It's been pretty hectic at work, so I haven't had time to create anything, and that's how it'll probably be during the summer, too. :P But it's ok, since it's always so much fun working, because all the small things that happen (and great work mates). There have been few things that have given some food for my thoughts, though.

I can't understand how indifferent people have become. Few days ago, I was working and we had some army service in the church. When the congregation was leaving, I noticed an old lady with two nordic walking poles and button with the visually disabled logo. I went to ask her if she needed help with the stairs. She was surprised and happy and said yes, please. They were treating people with coffee just outside the door, but it was quite cold outside, so I asked if the old lady would like to drink a cuppa before she left and that I could go to get her one. I seated her inside so that she wouldn't freeze in the wind and went to check outside, but the queue was so long that I went back to chat with her a bit. (I guess I should have been doing something more "professional", but I felt bad to think I wouldn't have time for her.) We chatted until the queue came so short that I could sneak and steal a cup of coffee and a doughnut for her. She was really charming old lady, she said she was 94 and still going around in buses and walking as agile as someone 30 years her junior... After she finished her coffee, I helped her down the stairs, across the park and the road to the bus stop. She was really taken about it all and thanked me from her heart. I felt it quite nice, but didn't really feel like earning it all, since what else could I have done? The thing which does trouble me in the whole thing, though, is that even if there were 200 people in the church, army officers and such, I was the only one who stopped to ask if she needed any help...

Yesterday, me and my mom were in a paper shop. They were renovating, so lots of the stuff was in trollies. Just as I was walking past one of those, people in the other pushed it slightly so that some boxes fell right in front of me and spread their insides all over the floor. I didn't really stop to think other than "walking past this mess would be really indifferent and rude". So I started to pick those few things back to the boxes. When the salesperson and the customer other side of the trolly saw what I was doing, they made such a fuss about it that I got really confused. They kept repeating how nice I was and how I totally didn't need to do that and how so kind and nice people still excisted and thank you thank you, I'll take care of it, don't worry but thank you. I tried to flee, but I still had to buy the envelopes, so I had to listen to that gratitude all the way to the cashier... It felt really awkward, since I didn't feel like doing anything special and these people were treating me like I would be the 8th wonder of the world.

So what's the matter with us? Is a small good deed really so extinct that people over react when they see one? Of course it feels good when you see you make someone happy, but I don't expect that much anything in return of those many small favours I do every day - often people don't even notice them (like holding the door open long enough for the next one to pass). It's just a habit of taking other people in consideration. But it does feel sad if we've really grown so unobservative that we don't make the effort. I don't help every old lady across the street, I only do it when the opportunity happens to knock at the right time. I'm no saint, so I would appreciate it if people didn't treat me that way. From my ex-superior I learned that the best way to do many things is to do them so unnoticed as possible. He was absolutely right.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Argh, I seem to have one of those days I can't really concentrate in anything... I drew a bit, but didn't feel like doing more, so I went to play with Flash for a moment. Then I grew bored with it and went drawing something else, until after few minutes I started knitting, since the shirt I started was next to me. I knitted one row until I went to shop in the net and pay some bills... Multitasking anyone?

I wish I had only one idea in my head that I could put all of my efforts in. But usually I have many ideas I pursue at the same time and can't really get anything done in any one. :P And of course the thing which bugs me most is that I'm quite hopeless perfectionist. And pedantic person, too, for that matter. Here is a self portrait I drew yesterday.

Self portrait

There is just one problem. IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I guess you could recognise me in it, especially if you watched me from the mirror like I do, but there's still something wrong in it. I think it's that I drew my left eye a bit too far off from the nose and once again I made my face too short. Also the line in my chin is not quite correct with that smirk. And I have longer hair. Yes, I guess it still looks cool and I'm quite happy I haven't lost my skills with dry pastels, but I can do better. The curse of every perfectionist who ever lived... Maybe I'll quite for today and go to sip some wine and read a book or something. :)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Small gifts

I don't like buying gifts for people, because I don't like useless shite that is given out only for the sake of some birthday or Christmas. Unfortunately, I often also don't have time to make personal and unique gifts for people and end up running around in shops in the end anyway in pursuit of that "perfect gift" that never really turn up. Actually, I should just start doing this years Christmas presents already...

In the past month or so, I've managed to compile a couple of small presents for a good reason. Here are the pics.

Rammstein truck
This one went to the truck driver we met in Rammstein's concert in Tallinn. We wanted to send him some thanks for his astonishing friendliness he showed us, so I hunted down half Europe in search for a model truck of Daf Fx, covered it with white plastic tape and cut the letters from blue plastic. What did he say? "Looks great, but all our trucks are black." >:D (With a smirk, of course.)

Golf ball warmer
My workmate turned 60 years old, and because he loves playing golf, I crocheted a golf ball warmer for him. I love to give people useless gifts, because in my opinion everyone already has pretty much everything they need. (One year I bought a real moose warning traffic sign to my brother. I think it's probably the best present I've ever given to anyone, because it looks so cool, but you can't really use it in any way.) He loved it and showed it around to everyone who was polite enough to listen. ;D

The summer suddenly came and it's been some lovely warm days here. It has also resulted in some thunderstorms in the neighbourhood, I never grow tired of stalking the lightning from the thunder radar. There has been some spectacular lightning in the map around the Baltic, but I haven't really experienced any yet. Mostly because I've been working in the church and you can't really here the rumble inside... :( Oh well, maybe some day... Today?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


I'm very loyal to my habits. In the past few years I've learned to shrug off other people's opinions and just do what I feel like doing. I tend to see funny little things in everything and am amused very easily. I laugh often by myself because of that and don't always explaing what is so funny. Who cares?

So, Tampere Art Factory weekend came and went, before that we had the international week with lots of workshops and stuff. It was quite a lot of fun, even if I did miss some of the stuff because I was so tired. Anyway, weekend was better. I ended up in a pub and dinner with many of our international guests (I still don't really know how that happened, I was the only student there, of course!) and had lovely discussions that varied between cow farming in the Netherlands and old Soviet spying radar in Latvia - sometimes I surprise myself noticing how many things I can actually have a lively discussion about! So, all in all it was very entertaining weekend and I made lots of new contacts.

And in the end I couldn't help myself. The thing that has bugged me from the beginning is the name of the event. TAF doesn't mean Tampere Art Factory for me, but TAF. That's why I just had to buy the T-shirt and add a bit to it...

TAF shirt

ENSB? Yes, I would just LOVE to visit the place...!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Useless shite

Today, I've been feeling really tired. I should have gone to school, since there would be quite many things for the TAF event (no, not METARs this time), but I can't get myself going... Too long story to tell here.

Instead, I've been just sitting at home, doing really nothing. I tried to cheer myself up by playing with the paper doll I made and mentioned in my previous post. God, how much fun you can get from one small thing! ;D

Alexx at Antarctica

Puppet Liberation Front

Vacant? Not for long.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

This is Deutsch

I finally managed to finish the paper doll I've been drawing for the past couple of weeks... Great way to avoid doing school work, that! When I was younger, I always started things but never finished them. I'm rather proud of myself that even if I'm still childish in many ways, at least in that sense I've changed a bit. But I guess one never be persistent and patient enough...

Anyway, after listening through all of the produced music of Eisbrecher (for a few times), laughing my guts out and dreaming of Bezier curves, I finally got this thing into a pdf. I also got it printed and cut, so ready for playing. I posted the thing into the official Eisbrecher forum, I'm quite interested to see what people will say about it! :D

It took me so long since I made so many outfits for the doll. I guess this would be the "official" one:

Alexx as a paper doll

But every time I look at this, I can't help but laugh...

Alexx as a paper doll

The whole thing is downloadable over here.